Gardens were Gardens…
I’ve had this great idea for a new musical! I was inspired by Mack and Mabel but instead of being about movies it’s about gardens.
Picture the scene. Jack, ageing gardener (now a shadow of his former self) is paying a visit to his old garden and is disgusted by its new appearance.
Talking about the good old days of gardening he rants: “Whadda ya gonna do in five years time when they’re tired of gravelled patios, whadda ya’ gonna give ‘em then? Decking? or a new size gazebo? or nude statues and chinese water-features? Go on, try all the tricks you can think of but it’s still not gonna be worth one yard of a well-tendered lawn, not one foot of a well-trimmed hedge, not one eight of a quarter of an inch of my (bird) table…”
After pronouncing: “What do they know about looking after gardens? …like I told you, not a goddam thing” he launches into the first number “Gardens were Gardens”.
The idea’s still taking shape but I’ve started writing another song to be used a bit later in the first act. It’s called “I Won’t Prune Roses” and it starts like this:
I won’t prune roses
Or mow the lawn
My old green wellies
No longer worn
My garden’s overrun with moles
Damn greenfly killed my marigolds
Those slugs and snails, kid
Won’t stay away kid
Forget my borders
They’re full of weed
My fruit and veg patch
Has gone to seed
And I can’t start again you see
I’ve lost my hoe
I won’t prune roses
As they refuse to grow…
It’s early days but I’m proud to say it’s coming along nicely. Plus, I’m thinking of approaching Alan Titchmarsh to play the lead. Dunno about you but I’m thinking I’ve got a hit on my hands!
